Cheap Eats

Recently I went on a couples trip with a group of close to mature mates and it was such a relief to learn we have all reached the point in our lives where we value Cheap Eats. No one was interested in spending our no longer disposable incomes on eating out or utilising the most used app for millenials who fall into the cashed up working professionals demographic – Uber Eats. Instead we all enthusiastically marched in to Aldi. We screamed across the aisles, the weekly specials and almost emailed France when we learnt cheese, not sourced from the South melbourne market, is more affordable than avocados.

Also, have you noticed there is the option to order Uber Eats while you’re in an Uber? This essentially allows you to be lazy on 2 occasions. Firstly your preferred mode of transport and secondly your preferred mode of food delivery. I can’t help but think that Uber are taking advantage of us millennials who fall into the cashed up working professionals demographic.

Now, as my friends and I stretch out into the realisation that a mortgage is still unachievable and perhaps I’ve missed the fertility boat and freezing my eggs is not an option, as they are too old to be frozen. Or that justifying whacking more items in my online shopping basket to get ‘FREE SHIPPING’ is the answer to financial security? It’s time I drastically change my lifestyle and spending habits before I end up living 80 kms from the CBD and becoming an Uber driver on the weekends!

Embracing this new hippie lifestyle has encouraged the boyfriend and I to take up a weekly ‘Cheap Eats’ competition. The aim is to make the cheapest dinner for the week, by carefully selecting ingredients from the supermarket or utilising what is already in the fridge.There are no rules about nutrition, how edible the meal is or how you source the produce. Scanning through avocados as tomatoes is not frowned upon and if you find a mouldy item in the back of the pantry claim that it’s penicillin and carry on! If you are the person to beat the record not only do you win the week but are awarded an all expenses paid trip to the 7/11 (*transfers not included).
The boyfriend is currently holding the Cheap Eats Champ title $9.60.

Cooked chook, Coles wholegrain wraps and almost off, on special, coleslaw

chicken
Cheap Eats Champ 

Close 2nd with the great Australian classic $10.50

Spag Bol – hope to Christ you have parmesan cheese in the fridge or you’re up for another $3.29

spagbol
As if my Spag Bol looks like this!

I got lucky with this one everything was on special $11.69

Mexican burger beef patties, charcoal brioche buns (absolutely on special $0.70 for 2) and Avo, tomato and any other ethnic related condiments on hand

brioche
Pretend bacon is an ethnic condiment 

Desperately close to payday treat $12.00

Chicken chipees and a bottle of semi-fancy French bubbles from Aldi

chickenchippies.jpg
Eating the entire box of Chicken Chipees is what childhood dreams are made of 

On the go unofficial winner for x1 $4.00

Maccas 3 for $3 small cheeseburger meal and add another sneaky cheese for $1

maccas
Ultimate Happy Meal 

After a month of this new hippie lifestyle and healthy relationship competitiveness I’m still smashing toasted cheese sangas and agreeing only to social activities that require me to recycle an outfit or pretend I enjoy FREE community events.

How do other people reach financial adulting success? High wages, savings, investments, budgets..? And what does the future hold for me… meal prep? 

How I became an F45 wanker for all the wrong reasons

This is not one of those blogs you read about the health benefits of exercise and how it dramatically changed my life.

It’s about how I became an F45 wanker, for all the wrong reasons.

Somehow, despite my love of a Maccas detour on the way to work I’ve turned into someone who sets their alarm at 5:35am and enjoys sweating with strangers. Who you do not have to talk to I might add. Everyone just pretends to be looking at the demo screen, trying not to notice that the communal yoga mat/bike seat/sandbag is covered in  other peoples sweat. Then in 45 minutes your done. Cooked.  

I joined F45 2 weeks before Christmas in the hope that I could eat and drink as much festive cheer as possible over the silly season, and not be reduced to wearing leggings as pants indefinitely. I smashed the one week trial and even considered doing double sessions just to get the most out of it. I had no intention of actually signing up. Then I got on the scales.

Originally I thought exercise would help me lose a few kegs. But, thus far I’ve only lost a kilo and to be honest I’m ok with it. I’ve thrown out all my belly tops and I’m not ashamed to say that I own more than one item from the Asos maternity range. Heaps comfy.

kmartgear
How I think I look in my activewear… from Kmart

But here I am paying a fortune to be yelled at and my 6 pack is still covered in cake! So how did I become one of those F45 wankers?!

First of all, it’s only 45 minutes. It’s not very long and you can just get in and get it done. Basically it takes the same amount of time to watch one episode of The Real Housewives of anywhere!

By doing the 6am class I’m home by 6.50am. Which means I then have 1 hour and 20 minutes to myself in the morning. That’s a like a lifetime to me. I make a coffee then sit on the couch and watch the morning shows in my knickers. Sometimes I even iron my work outfit. 

Also, I have a crush on one of the trainers. Because she never yells at me and only wants to talk shit about her weekend. 

Look I’m sure I’m getting fitter, losing weight (slowly) and prolonging my life span but I admit I became an F45 for all the wrong reasons.

This new found exercise enthusiasm is more of a shock to me than it is to you. I mean really, who wants to spend their wine budget on getting out of bed to jump off boxes?!

Me, apparently.

Sneaky Cheese

ATTENTION: Sneaky Cheese Enthusiasts

I’m just going to cut to the chase here so there is no further confusion.

If you are excited about the return of the $2 Double Cheeseburger from McDonald’s (…as I was) then I’ve got some important information that you NEED to know.

When ordering your favourite food group, at any of the 900 locations Australia wide, please be very specific with your choice of words. If you say: ‘DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER’, you will be charged $4.65. BUT if you say the word: ‘McDOUBLE’, this will only cost you $2.

WTF?!

Why is there a price difference and as if anyone would pay $2.65 more?

Well, I did and here’s what I learnt.

The key difference between a Double Cheeseburger and a McDouble is that a Double Cheeseburger has 2 slices of cheese, a McDouble has only one.

Any Sneaky Cheese enthusiast will know that the cheese/meat ratio is integral to the quality of the cheeseburger. Regardless of which burger joint you go to, lack of cheese may result in: depression, anger and or mixed feelings about becoming a vegan.

At present McDonald’s is attempting a rebrand, launching a marketing campaign claiming to provide fine dining and being: ‘A little bit fancy’. There is nothing fine or fancy about disproportion of cheese! Especially because it’s not a delicate slice of cheese sourced from France or the wanky section of the supermarket. It’s that shit yellow, highly processed plastic cheese.

SNEAKY tactics to secure sales from ill informed cheeseburger consumers is unacceptable. As a Sneaky Cheese Enthusiast myself, I would hate for anyone else to suffer from this devastating misuse of jargon. The confusion between these ‘DOUBLE’ cheeseburger related products should be taken seriously. The situation has been escalated to a level, which not only endangers the public but also McDonald’s employees.

Personally I apologise to the kid behind the register who was subject to my outrage and witnessed my findings in relation to cheese/meat ratios.

To all Sneaky Cheese Enthusiasts please take note of this information, share accordingly and good luck.

#sneakycheese

This public service announcement is in no way intended to deter you from indulging in any of McDonald’s (and their affiliates) Sneaky Cheese products.

Digital Detox Fail

Starting a digital detox on holiday wasn’t one of my better ideas. You need Google maps to win at life and how do you know where the nearest Burger King is?

bkAuckland
Exactly.

I believe you can no longer find a job, a house or a life partner without the use of the internet. Our lives are so tuned to using devices to access all of Google’s knowledge that the convenience of this once considered luxury is now just part of our all day e’ryday. And I can’t remember how I used to survive without constantly sourcing information from a cracked iPhone screen. Or how I used to wash my face before makeup wipes were a thing. 

So I suggested that, on our non adventurous one week holiday to New Zealand, the boyfriend and I spend one day (just one) doing a digital detox. No phones, tablets, computers, laptops or telly! I also stipulated that it wouldn’t happen on my birthday because I want to read all the nice things people write about me on my Facebook wall. We decide that Thursday could be a good day but by Tuesday we have already pushed it back to Saturday, because… well just because.

We quickly discover that travelling without the interweb requires a lot of research and planning and restricts the ability to discover accurate opening hours for the nearest Burger King. 

I really liked the idea of disconnecting from my digitally consumed life and being on holiday seemed the best place to be able to do so. In my mind I was going to be meditating and staring into Billy’s eyes for the best part of the day. But in reality I was sending emails from my iPad while simultaneously checking my Facebook notifications on my laptop while Billy was at the gym.

#digitaldetoxfail

 I was ill prepared in my pursuit of digital detox success. But here’s what I learnt:

 5 tips to achieve Digital Detox Success

Don’t do it on holiday

Rule one. Don’t do it on a day where you need to use the interweb. Just don’t.

A lazy Sunday or one of those boring days between Christmas and New Year, that would be a good day to attempt a digital detox. Choose a day where you don’t have to answer anyones emails, texts, Instagram tags or dick pics.

Shit to do

Make a plan. Sort out what you are going to do for the day and make it either enjoyable or productive. Go for breakfast, colour in, jog around the park, spend the day with your mother in-law, try and remember your MyGov password without reset prompts (this is a joke – DO NOT attempt this because you will fail). You’ll have a better chance of digital detox success if you are occupied and kept busy.

Wear a watch

Buy yourself a watch. Or if you already have one then wear it and use it to tell time. I’m very guilty of this. Sometimes I’ll be sitting at my computer, looking at screen, and I know the time is ALWAYS displayed in the bottom right hand corner. But I reach over to my phone, illuminate the cracked glass and see that it’s only 3 minutes since I last checked my phone. I have no missed calls, eBay notifications or unsolicited dick pics! Sigh. Wanting to know the time is just an excuse to check my phone. 

Wear a watch.

Sephora rewards system

Ultimately the reward of a digital detox is that you can spend time with yourself and others without digitally infused distractions. But there is nothing wrong with a bit of a incentive in the form of a reward. And best that this rewards system that is a deterrent and at the same time somewhat beneficial. For example I negotiated that if Billy were to accidentally grab his phone, turn it on, use his fingerprint to open the security feature and view a golf related YouTube tutorial I would receive a reward for not doing that. Each digital detox fail equates to $5 Sephora dollars.

*Sephora dollars can be redeemed via goods listed in a preprepared word document which will be emailed to the boyfriend who is currently on his way to Vegas for a “work conference”.

Tell your mates

Inform people of your plan to spend the day without the use of intellectual property belonging to Bill Gates, Steve Jobs or that rich bloke Miranda Kerr just married. As I learnt, if you tell every person you know that you are doing a: ‘Digital Detox’ they are going to ask you how it went. So if you fail, as I did, then you’ll wish you hadn’t banged on about it for a week leading up to the event. Tell your mates and make a commitment to yourself. That will ensure you’re more likely to attempt, persist and succeed.

I’m basically Anthony Robbins over here!

AnthonyRobbins

Never give up, giving up.

I may have stolen this from an advertising campaign that is aimed at highlighting a practice that is slightly more damaging to your health than electronic devices, but the message is still relevant.

Never give up, giving up electronic device addiction. 
I tried to do a whole day of digital detox and only made it through a breakfast and a 4 hour car trip (even if we did use Google maps as a navigational device on said car trip). I’ll attempt to do another digital detox and this time I’ll be better prepared. 

Maybe I’ll do it on one of those boring days between Christmas and New Year… After I’ve have read all the nice things people have written about me on my Facebook wall. 

 

 

 

Things I’ve learnt from my Asian boyfriend

When people ask me where I’m from I say: ‘I’m a skippy. I’m really really Australian.’ 
It’s true. I’m a white kid, from the country who is sometimes accidentally racist. 

I grew up in Ballarat before the City Council introduced a refugee program, but during the whole Pauline Hanson: ‘Please explain’, (for lack of a better word) episode. There was one Asian girl in my year, and there were 200 kids total. I’m no mathlete but that makes her .05 % of the population. The whole time we were at high school together, I just assumed her Mum was Asian but she was actually adopted from Korea. Since we’ve left school Kym and I have become very good friends and I have discovered she too is a white kid, from the country who is sometimes accidentally racist. When people ask her where she’s from she knows they don’t want to hear: Ballarat, and she can’t be arsed entertaining them so she just gets to the point. 
‘Korea. South Korea, not bad Korea.’ 
I guess my point is, that although I’m well travelled I am also very ignorant when it comes to any influence from a different culture. Don’t get me wrong, it is in no way an excuse for being accidentally racist, or just plain racist, but I have had very little exposure to people who are unlike me. 

That is, until I met Billy. 
Here I was 30 years old going about my ‘white kid, from the country who is OFTEN accidentally racist’ life when I met my Asian boyfriend. 
People assume that Billy is Polynesian and with that they also assume he was either born in NZ, Hawaii or Mexico (..?!) and lots of people think he looks like Bruno Mars, which he is secretly stoked about. 

Actual image of Billy chillin’ at home

Billy was born in Thailand, his Mum is Thai and his Dad is Aussie. He grew up in Melbourne’s south east and is a bit of a yuppie who wears chinos, drinks turmeric lattes and only listens to SEN radio. But he has taught me lots about how it was different for him growing up and also there are so many things my ‘white kid, from a country town who is ALWAYS accidentally racist’ upbringing could have never have taught me. 

Here are 7 Things I’ve learnt from my Asian boyfriend! 



1. Spring rolls in lettuce and mint 

The authentic way to eat Vietnamese spring rolls is to wrap them in lettuce and mint and then dip them in the dipping sauce. It’s honestly the best because you don’t have to wait for them to cool down as much and it’s semi healthy. Trust me once you’ve tried this you’ll never want to eat a spring roll on it’s own again! 

2. It’s pronounced: Poo-ket, not Foo-ket 

I avoided saying this word in front of Billy for a long time but then I saw a cheap flight in the travel section of the Herald Sun and said: 

‘Let’s go to Foo-ket!’

Billy looked at me with a slight smile but I could see from the twitch in his brow this was a common occurance, having to explain the correct pronunciation, for him. And really he was thinking: ‘Who dis ignorant white girl?’

But he calmly went on to explain:

‘First of all it’s Poo-ket…’ 

3. How to use chopsticks!
 

The first time I ever used chopsticks was at a Chinese restaurant in Blackpool when I was 19 years old. I sat down with my dance partner, also a white kid, from the country who was sometimes accidentally racist, and 10 wealthy well to-do ladies from Hong Kong (one of them was Donald Trumps realtor at the time). Look, I tried my best but left the restaurant a little bit embarrassed and a lot hungry. I absolutely made a trip to Maccas on the way back to my hotel. Needless to say I was super impressed when I discovered Billy is able to eat Maccas, chips and gravy, with chopsticks. 



4. Tiger Woods is half Thai 

I always just thought he was of African American descent (are we still allowed to say African American?!). But Billy informs me that Tiger woods is also half Thai. Both Billy and Tiger have a Thai mother, and due to this genetic resemblance that should mean that Billy has the same golfing ability as Tiger. I’m not convinced that’s how it actually works… 

5. Agreeing with David Oldfield is frowned upon 

Last year SBS did this series where they put privileged white celebrities in Aboriginal communities. Ray Martin hosted and I remember him interviewing David Oldfield at the completion of the experience and his opinion towards implementing change for these people hadn’t altered in the slightest. He then said something that I agreed with. Not only did this expose my political views in an unflattering light it also made it harder to convince Billy that watching Lisa Oldfield on ‘The Real Housewives of Sydney’ was not in anyway influencing my lifestyle ideals… 

6. A Ricemobile or a Ricer

You know those cars that are all decked out with a flash paint job, big exhausts and spoilers? Lots of cosmetic additions but probably unable to drag your Nan at the lights. Well apparently these are called Ricemobiles or adding any of these useless accessories to your shit heap of a car is called: Ricing!



7. Just cos your Asian doesn’t mean you’re a mathlete 

Darling, you are still paying the hot water bill for the place you lived at 3 years ago… call them and have it disconnected. 

How to IKEA

‘Death, taxes and cracking the shits at IKEA’

…I think that’s how the saying goes anyway.

Due to a recent IKEA experience I now recommend the following tips on: How to IKEA

 

  • Follow the Yellowbrick Road

    You might think there is  a short cut or that there is a better way to navigate your way around the flat pack maze but there isn’t. Some powerful mastermind has designed the store layout and if you deviate it may cause: anger, frustration and or divorce. Please take caution when considering an “alternative” route (…there is no alternative route).

  • Stay hydrated

    I’m pretty sure Usian Bolt couldn’t make it through IKEA in less than 45 minutes so there is no way you’ll be able to. I strongly recommend having a coffee before you leave the house and then grabbing a traveller before stepping foot in IKEA. But make sure you have a bottle of water. Also, don’t even worry if you’ve crushed up some valium and in makes its way in the water.

  • Take clear, accurate, unfiltered high res photos

    If you write the product number down – you’re doing it wrong. Take a photo of the assembled product and the tag or you’ll get to the end and have NFI what you actually want.

  • Patience is a virtue

    We all know the kids section is a bloody nightmare and the inconsiderate people walk around that place like they are on holiday in the tropics. There is no benefit in trying to get past these people as they will eventually find you and make it worse. Take deep breaths, play with a fidget spinner, look at your partner and roll your eyes. Do anything to avoid confrontation.

  • Don’t leave without buying 6 wine glasses

    They are so cheap and you can never have enough. Who cares if you break them you’ve got a spare half dozen from the last time you went to IKEA remember.

ikeagif

IKEA Experience Recap

Recently the boyfriend and I moved in together and as soon as we signed the lease we made storage solutions our priority. We even did a dry run at Springvale IKEA. This gave us a chance to learn the ropes of How to IKEA without the pressure of having to make a purchase. It was a good pre-season.

When we return a few weeks later, for the live play we have greatly underestimated our ignorance. After making it to almost full time we are without incident. But once we pay for our flat packed goods we realise 2 things: we need to get our flat packed dream in the car and we have no game plan for this play. So we wing it.

The boyfriend goes and gets the car I stand in the pick up area and wait until I see his car then move towards the next vacant bay. I sense that everyone around me is feeling anxious but I am feeling proud. I’ve stuck to my guidelines and found what is almost an anomaly: success at IKEA.

My smugness is short lived.

*This is the part where I should tell you that at Richmond IKEA the pick up bays are located at the exit gate of the car park. There are two lanes. One for exiting the complex completely, the other for picking up flat packed dreams from IKEA. It’s a little bit tricky and you have to have your wits about you. If you’re in the wrong lane for the IKEA pick up bay, you’ll have to exit the carpark completely and then reenter all over again – basically it ruins your day.

The boyfriend backs into a car bay. I then, only then, notice a woman standing at the edge of the car space. She has her hands on her head and is groaning as if something has ruined her day. I notice her frustration and momentarily feel sorry for her. Until I realise she has been waiting for her boyfriend to back into the same car bay.

This is my accurate account of the dialogue that passed between us (Team Rolo) and them (Team Cracking the shits at IKEA) 

‘I’m really sorry. We’ll be really quick’

‘You can’t just do that!’

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t realise.’

‘That was really rude!

‘SORRY.’

‘We’re allowed to be annoyed!’

..? F$%^ing SORRY!!!!

Team Rolo quickly gets in the car and drives off in silence. After we leave the postcode we start to unpack what has just happened to us as we are still unsure of IKEA pick up bay etiquette and where our pre season failed. While Team cracking the shits at IKEA are likely still packing their car and contemplating a divorce.

 

bringbackthebiff
Now available @ IKEA… Same place you get the hotdogs

 

My life with Chris Hemsworth

A few weeks I started a new job. I had that nervous/excited feeling just like I used to have at the start of a new school year. Except, I didn’t have a brand spanking new set of Derwent pencils in my backpack or my Mum waving from the front seat of her SL Commodore. I was on my own this time… or at least that’s what I thought. It wouldn’t have been more than 45 minutes into day one when I felt his presence. It’s a mix of extraverted energy, Nordic good looks and determination. My new boss just slipped it in the conversation, without even batting an eyelid. I wasn’t really expecting it and to be honest my heart didn’t sink, but there was definitely a sigh. Obviously, I had been Googled and the best thing the internet knows about me had been discovered. I was Chris Hemsworth’s dance partner on ‘Dancing with the Stars’. I took a deep breath and launched into the spiel…

…’Yes, I was his partner on DWTS… 10 years ago. He’s lovely. He wasn’t a very good dancer… Very tall. 6’ 3”. We came 6th. No, that’s Liam. Yep…Thor, YEP! I’ve never been to his house in Byron Bay. No,we don’t keep in touch.…’

I try not to make it the most interesting thing about me but it always comes up. I’d have thought by now it would be old news. It’s been over 10 years! But Hemsy’s career, profile and public adoration continues to grow. I’m constantly tagged in social media posts of him, usually shirtless. Then, the next day, there is a news story about said shirtless picture breaking the internet (how does that make the news..?!). I’m not exaggerating when I say his name is mentioned to me daily. People ask me strange questions about him and they all want to know if I’ve met Miley Cyrus. Unfortunately, I have not (heart sigh’s again). I do secretly enjoy the attention that it brings me, however it does make me quite aware of my own bad life choices and lack of success (I really wish I’d listened in school). This Tag Heuer advert is particularly confronting to me as I feel like the whole campaign is targeted at my unfulfilled dreams. Especially when I see this as I’m using public transport, the second lowest form of poverty. 7/11 coffee being the first.

dontcrackunderpressure
Thanks Hemsy… (eye roll emoji)
A few years ago I was interviewed by a New York magazine (… “A” New York magazine not ‘New York Magazine’). The feature article was on how Chris Hemsworth is arguably the most successful celebrity to have participated in any of the ‘Dancing with the Stars’ franchises world wide. I was very complimentary in my interview but the only thing they printed was a negative comment about his lack of dance skills. I was being honest, he was no good at dancing, but I now feel regretful for neglecting to mention that I’m not at all surprised by his success.

My experience of Chris Hemsworth was always positive. A superhuman with a bloody good work ethic, a happy disposition and a big heart. He grew up in a beautiful family and to my knowledge he has everything he’s ever wanted. And through all his achievements and success I’m sure he’s still that down to earth bloke with a pocket full of dreams. I’m also confident he can still recite every single word from the movie: ‘Point Break’ and never has any cash on him, so you’re the one who has to shout him a coffee! I’ll always see him as the kid who introduced me to David Gray, tried to teach me to surf and loved himself sick driving around the Northern Beaches in his VT Commodore. But, he’s also the kid who taught me that if you want something the only person who will stop you from getting it, is yourself.

So instead of presenting my seldom used headshot as my identification photo for my new job. I printed this photo of Hemsy and I, framed it, and added it to the wall of employees (with a smirk this time, not a sigh).

chrishemsdwts
‘Yes, it’s a real photo. No! …I wish I was that good at Photoshop!’
I think in some ways he’ll always be a part of my life and as long as he’s successful, popular and shirtless, people will continue to mention him to me. And let’s be honest, I’m more than flattered by the association.

The world’s fascination with Hemsy isn’t going away anytime soon. So I carry on, like any other Hemsworth enthusiast would. Delivering my daily spiel and reliving the best thing the internet knows about me.

This is, my life with Chris Hemsworth.

because: budget

I read a bloody good Mamamia article (You can follow the link here) this week written by a Sydney-based married millennial. Basically she documented her social, active, city living life by tallying up her total weekly spend. This did not include expenses just her ‘on the daily’ needs… and sometimes impulsive wants. I was gob smacked that her total weekly spend came to $1000 (remembering this is less expenses) until I realised I’m probably just as frivolous with my money. I decided to back track through my week and tally up my total weekly spend. Here’s what I got:
Monthly expenses:
Rent $800
Netflix $8.99
Myki $80
Phone $105
Health Insurance $72
Interweb $25
Adult braces $320
Total monthly expenses $1410.99

Thursday
Get a coffee on the way to work and accidentally also order toastie $11
Pay for a hen’s day $40
Go into the city during my lunch break. Need to get back to work ASAP can’t wait for Uber, get a taxi instead $12
Grab a sandwich for lunch $8.90 (Literally just a turkey and dust sandwich – nothing else)
Go for drinks after work with my mate Bridget $12 (Thank god it’s still happy hour!)

Friday
Coffee $4 (Go to the good place as you’re a Melbourne coffee snob)
Get sushi for lunch then are disappointed when it comes to $17.00 (I should have just got a $10 souvlaki!)
Bottle of wine after work to drink while watching the footy, even though it’s pre season, with the boyfriend and his mates $12 (Don’t care if it’s full of sulphites, it’s on sale!)
Ice creams from the 7/11 on the way home from watching pre season footy $8

Saturday
I’m determined to pack my lunch all next week. I need ingredients for avo on toast, tuna salad and almond meal zucchini fritters. Like an idiot I get everything from the organic section of the supermarket $41
On the way home from the supermarket realise I locked my keys in the flat. Housemate is overseas so have to call a locksmith. Pay $120 for the privilege of getting into my own flat.
Pay for another hen’s $100
Spend the night (like actually the whole night 7pm – 6am) at White Night, go for a walk at 3.30am to stay awake, get sliders from food truck (also shout my sister but eat her share of the chips) $16

Sunday
Go to Maccas on way home from White Night. Devo when I discover they are only serving breakfast (I just wanted nuggets!). Get an Aussie breaky burger instead… and 2 hash browns $11
Sleep all day and don’t leave the house until 4.30pm spend $0 doing so (YES!)
Go to boyfriend’s for dinner, get the organic wine $18

Monday
Go to yoga but forget to bring a towel, mat, or water. Pay for class and hire of items $28
Need a coffee because I woke up at 5.30am to go to yoga $4.50 (get soy because I’m still pretending to be a flexitarian)
NEED new white t-shirt as I spilt olive oil on the one I just bought so have a quick look at ASOS… $46 later
Teach dancing in Yarraville after work and get an Uber home $23

Tuesday
Transfer money out of everyday account into my savings so I don’t spend my rent money – forget health insurance and Interweb is coming out. Get an overdrawn account fee $15 (… it used to be $9!)
Coffee $4.50 – Consider giving up coffee but I hardly eat meat I’m not giving up coffee as well!
Teaching in Yarraville again tonight another Uber $21

Wednesday
Coffee $4.50 (realise that soy is now $5.00 so just get a skinny flat white)
Go for a walk at lunch, fight the urge to get a Diet Coke… Get one anyway – it’s only $2.50
Read Mamamia article about Sydney woman who documents where her money goes over one week and realise this is a great idea. I then go to supermarket to buy coriander and tomatoes and end up spending $48
Buy a bottle of wine as well but finally sign up to Dan Murphy’s club card $12
Total Weekly Spend $619.90

I’m no accountant but it seems my lifestyle doesn’t match my income. Kind of like how my education doesn’t match my ambition or my crockery doesn’t match my apartment. I’ve heard about these people that track their spending and adhere to something called a budget..? And after actually seeing how much I spend weekly, on nothing, I’m likely to be implementing one. Maybe next week though…

I’m of the firm belief that money doesn’t buy happiness and having smashed avo on toast, e’ry day, is the ultimate meme, I mean dream.

#liveyourmilleniallife

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