Merry Christmas

Howdy.

So this is Christmas.

I hope you have pud.

This being my first Christmas, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I mean there are just so many unknowns! When do I write to Santa? Who is cooking the turkey and how do I maintain a summer body in December… it’s near impossible! Then there’s the shopping, decorating and the endless Christmas catch ups, which – if we’re honest, are just an excuse to drink prosecco and eat mince pies. However, I am quite enjoying those horrific Netflix Christmas movies. You know, the one with the Prince and the snow… the sequel. Oh it’s so bad it’s good! And the Gavin and Stacey Christmas special – the BBC’s finest achievement in my opinion.

Yet all this fuss has got my thinking… who on earth is in charge of styling this event?

My human, of the female variety, is also determined to have me look like my heart is full of Christmas spirit. I hate to tell her it’s full of stubborness and naps. Who wants to wear a ridiculous Christmas themed bow tie?! Just you wait for Christmas day, because I know she’s got a reindeer costume that she can’t wait to strap to my chest and pull over my ears. The fit is horrid and simply does me no justice, yet little does she care. Her Instagram following increases and my popularity inflates her ego. Good for her!

The humans have also erected a tree and tried to decorate in a tasteful fashion, with little success might I add. It looks like the 1980’s have thrown up all over the front room. My room, to be precise! Red, gold and green baubles and shit everywhere. Honestly, have some class!

Wouldn’t it be better to skip all the nonsense and just by kind one another. Just kidding… hand me my presents!

Merry Christmas though…

Cheerio,

Hector

 

because: bloody christmas

So it’s bloody Christmas already and I’ve turned into one of those people that say:

‘Oh, I just can’t wait to have a break!’

It’s not like I’m working an 80 hour week or volunteering at an animal shelter, I’m just eating, drinking and being merry! 
I erected my $29 optic fibre Christmas tree that I purchased from Big W (what a bargain!) and decorated it with non-traditional coloured baubles. My mum has always insisted on a colour pallet of red, green and gold. You’re not even allowed to place your presents under the tree unless the wrapping paper also adheres to these guidelines. So this year I’ve got my own tree (for the first time ever), and I decorated it however I liked! When I informed my mum that I had used baby pink, blue and silver baubles on a fake tree there was a deafening silence on the other end of the phone and then these four icy words:

‘You’re dead to me.’

But even that couldn’t dampen my Christmas spirit 🎄🎅👍🏻

I’ve been to a couple of Christmas lunches, my end of year work ‘do’ and will of course be hitting up the pubs in Ballarat on Xmas eve, waking up so hungover my hair hurts on a couch or a garden setting.

I’ve been playing Christmas carols on YouTube in the morning as I get ready for work (because Spotify hates me) and I always just end up listening to the same song on repeat.

I’ve been avoiding most of my life admin and any kind of nutrition and I’ll be doing cartwheels out of work on Friday afternoon because I just can’t wait to have a break!

My favourite things about Christmas that have also contributed to me now being one of those people that say: 

‘I just can’t wait to have a break!’

Easing into Christmas

Yesterday I ate a spit roast, two kinds of potatoes, garlic bread, beer bread, pasta salad, and a normal salad for lunch as a warm up for Christmas dinner. And then an hour and a half later I ate a combo meal from Red Rooster. I couldn’t tell you how many Christmas themed cupcakes I’ve had! And that gingerbread frappuccino with whipped cream and a side of heart attack from Starbucks the other day almost tipped me over the edge. I mean, there is easing into Xmas and then there is falling right off Santa’s sleigh! #eating

Secret Santa

I love a secret santa because I always seem to get great presents. One year I got an iPod shuffle… And I’ve probably used it twice, but still a good present. This year I received the infamous hand painted tin duck/rosemary plant named Henrietta and also a stable table for my lappy. Both great presents because I’m currently writing this blog on my couch with a gin and tonic and a sprig of rosemary in hand! #drinking

Watch the Gavin and Stacey: Christmas Special

If you think Carpool Karaoke is hilarious then you have to see James Corden in the best thing to ever come out of the UK… apart from scotch eggs. You might need to watch series 1 & 2 of Gavin and Stacey first to fully understand the LOLs, but basically it’s a British version of The Castle at Christmas! #beingmerry
Merry Christmas xox

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